Poem

I feel like a bird who wants to fly;

see the rivers and trees passing by.

In front, she feels the sky which is blue;

She knows the truth but don’t want it to be true.

She tries with zeal, she tries with rage;

But then always comes in between the once-beautiful cage.

From a boy to the man...

Going some four years back..I was a good boy...a brilliant student,a good sportsman,school's best debater,school's head boy,mama's good son and a MAN in making...I cracked JEE and was set to achieve big in life...that was the first step toward my gradation from a good boy to a successful man....

Coming to present..I am jobless..I have been ditched by my girlfriend..I am a regular smoker..I drink too much..I am considered to be a political guy with no ethics and lots of cunningness inside me..I have more enemies than friends..I got my degree summer extended..I am again in love with a girl who thinks I am not what I appear to be..all my seniors are settled,all my juniors are going good and all my friends are set to make their marks in the topsy-turvy pathway of life..

Still people find I am happily satisfied..even I think so..but what is the truth..am I happy?..am I satisfied?..considering myself to be a part of the world I am living in..my mates..my family I am more than a successful lad..I can't find a single person close to me who is unsatisfied or sad..this all makes me feel good but what about me..I though never think it in this way but sometimes when I am alone it makes me sad..I automatically feel the growing unsatisfaction inside..

My college days are about getting over..I consider what I got..5 close to heart friends(rahul,bhaskar,abhishek,shiva and shubham)...some 10 thinking-about-themselves seniors...lots of loving-caring juniors..some 10 good friends..a girlfriend(sweety) who ditched me for her family..another failed love-interest(R***I)..regular smoking and heavy drinking habit..a practically fake chemical engineering degree..a stud CV which is till date unsuccessful in getting me a job..lots of people cursing me for my deeds..awards and wins for the hostel which never gave me what I deserved..a family for whom I am still the best..

I still can't decide I achieved or I lost in this gradation from a boy to the MAN..I still have various aims to be accomplished...I wish to get a job..I wish my love-interest to understand she is the one for me..I wish to complete my degree sooner and I wish all my mates to get more happier..my wish lists still goes a long way and its a fact that I always got what I wished..but there is a difference in what I wish and what I really want..I want to go 4 years back...start a fresh..

"I cracked JEE..I continued my charismatic school life here also..I established myself as a brilliant student who is good in cult and sports..I got a first day job..all my friends are happy..I fell in love with r***i..she too got interested and we lived happily after..I don't smoke..I don't drink..no one dislikes me..everywhere there is happiness and satisfaction...my mates..my family..my girlfriend and yes surely ME..all happy.."...this is all what I wanted...the pathway I wanted to be followed for my growing from a boy to the MAN..

Dasvidaniyan!!

source of happiness: mind or heart?

Very well said:"its easy to fight external enemies but its very difficult to fight against the internal one"...and the thing become more tough when you have to fight against yourself...biologically all the thinking is done by mind..but the concept of "poetic mind" i.e. heart can't be denied completely..very often there are two things going inside..one favouring decision your mind as taken and other something very personal..mind can be influenced by what is going around you but heart never thinks in this way..all it thinks is about what give you the happiness..the big question what is the source of happiness...I think its a very relative term..it depends largely on satisfaction..satisfaction can be without success..without winning and getting things but without satisfaction there is nothing in being successful or being a winner...success is something which can't be measured based on parameters defined and created by society..its something that come from inside..mind's job is to see,analyse,compute and deliver but heart do not do any calculations..computation or cognition..it just prompts you to do what you really want...following what mind says you can become successful..but this success will only give you instantaneous happiness and it will only make you successful not satisfied...but following what your heart prompts you to do may not make you a winner or a successful well-being but it will give you satisfaction..in your heart lies the source of happiness.. sometime even loosing can give you immense pleasure though going by societal standard loosing means you are unsuccessful.. its very true but what when you loose to someone whose happiness...whose success matters for you more than your own.. for example: for a father losing to his son is a thing which gives him immense pleasure, he don't care about winning... sacrifice can be more pleasurable than getting sometime.. I believe heart is always right because it can see the reality..the reality which comes from inside..from the soul... mind sees what the society ask it to... never follow someone because he is successful, always follow yourself.. big-big persons like Dhirubhai, Ratan Tata are not only successful but they are/were satisfied.. they did what they wanted to do..they din't followed the standards..paths set by society.. they had chosen their own path..they had set their own standards.. I am not saying that everybody can be Tata or Ambani but everybody can be happy and satisfied... life is not just about winning wars,its about winning the battle.. we all are running in a long race with many halts.. we can win it only if we are satisfied with our actions and decisions.. satisfaction comes from inside..it can't be measured or achieved..it can only be realised and as I said earlier mind is not meant for realization so here comes the role of heart.. before taking any decision ask your heart..you will find most of the time it will say what your mind is already saying but there can be tougher situations when both of them will contradict.. the simple solution to this complex situation is follow your heart.. and the reason being senses can lie but your heartbeats can never lie..mind do its action based on what eyes,ears,hands,nose and mouth percept from surrounding..these can be wrong or misguided but your heart beats for you, your beloved ones and your soul.. it can never be wrong.. follow your heartbeats because only there the llife starst and the life ends...

Dasvidaniyan!!

dil se..

Well..in my first post i talked about "dosti"...well its vey well said "Friendship can end in love but love in friendship never ends"...what is love..there are several definitions..several quotes by famous writers..several dialogues from hit bollywood and hollywood movies..but I think its all weird..Love can't be defined in words..it can't be painted in canvas..its something which can be felt..you can talk about it but you can't define it..you can write a book about love but you can't even say a line on what love is..the best line about love which I came across is "To love and win is the best thing..but to love and loose is the second best thing"..and I believe in this just seeing your beloved ones can make you happy to an extent which is out of imagination..seeing them happy can drive you crazy..its not always about winning and getting things but the irony in love is that you can be the happiest one in this planet even after losing..ask the one who were/are in love..those three magical words..those eight miraculous letters..what effect they can have..they are not meant for getting yes/no as reply..they are far more than that..they are to tell that you can do anything for someone's happiness..to tell that you don't want them but you want them to be happy...to tell that "its not you who is special but its me who is special because of you.."..its about telling them that "you reside in my heart upto a depth where everything ends..you reside in my mind upto a depth where everything fades away"...its about telling them that "whwn I close my eyes I see you and when I open my eyes I want to see you".. its far not about asking..its all about telling what you feel...its not about telling what you want but its all about telling what you need...

Dasvidaniyan!!

Dostana

Well...to start of with...dis is my first blog...n as sum1 has said frndship comes first so I decided to write abt it first...cumin 2 me I am Raj..mere bahut saare dost hain...bt dost hona and dostana ke beech there is a very thin line...so talkin of dostana wale dost I am having a lot of them too..5 is a big no. I guess..I met them all in IIT only and in dese four years they became a integral part of my life..I wake up with them..I do my day-work with them..I study with them...I play with them..blahblah...but as each story has an ending, this too is about to end...our college days are about to end..donno where life wil take us all bt for sure the things will change..no more masti..no more fights..no more discussions...no more leg-pulling..Its a tough tym bt wtevr the thing be I beleive nothing will change as far as feelings for each other is concerned...our dostana will not be affected coz of distance between us...we will be thr..supporting..guiding...scolding each other...as they say "friendship can end into love but the love in friendship never ends"..so hoping for the best..we want to continue these best days of our as long as life permits us..may be we cant meet afterward..may be we cant talk daily like we do now..may be something strange and unexpected can happen..but who cares about it all..life has given us chance to live it and we are living it king size...